Monday, 16 November 2015

ROMANCE IN THE DIGITAL AGE: SWIPING LEFT AND FINDING MR. RIGHT


The idea that we are destined to find ‘the one’ is something which has always perplexed me. In the age that we live in today, it seems that the concept of happily-ever-after is becoming more and more ambiguous.
Welcome to the world of digital. Technology seems to now be integrated into most aspects of our lives, including the romantic side. With enough dating apps to almost cover every letter of the alphabet, we seem to be able to browse through potential partners as if we are shopping for them online. There is Tinder, there is Grindr, there is Happn - whatever takes your fancy. You can literally order yourself a partner faster than you can order a pizza. It seems that we have moved far away from the days of romantic love letters with our ‘sweet nothings’ now being couriered within seconds through our smartphones. This made me question whether we have now reached an age where courtship is dead. 

I guess in many ways the concept of dating the ‘unknown’ is unquestionably not a new one. In history, lonely singletons would often place personals in newspapers to aid their search for love. Having delved into a number of old newspapers myself, what really remarked me was the honesty of people’s intentions. “A woman - young, beautiful and vibrantly alive, desires not merely a human bank account, but a man of physical attraction and real mental attainment” - a personal description which lies far from the endless captions on Tinder which just pursuit for ‘Netflix and Chill’. Perhaps romance has just evolved with the time. Sending a winking face emoji followed by an eggplant isn’t exactly something Mr Darcy would have done, but at the end of the day - isn’t the sentiment just the same? The society that we live in today is one that is sexually liberated and less restrained, as sex itself has moved purely into the mainstream. Similarly, with the rise of feminism - women are no longer expected to be dependent upon men. This has encouraged the formation of a culture of the less serious nature of ‘seeing someone’. So perhaps these apps just bridge the path to fix us up for a one night hook-up. 

On a busy commute home last week, I tuned in as a mother shouted at her son claiming that if he didn’t have such an intimate relationship with his smartphone then perhaps he would manage to eventually have an intimate relationship with someone else. It seems entirely contradictory that a device which was intended to aid our communication has in some cases done the complete opposite. It act’s as a tool for us to hide behind. We no longer live in a society where choosing a partner is hindered by factors such as class, race and gender, so these apps give us a chance to meet people we would have not met otherwise. On the other hand though, why should we go out and make the effort to meet people when you can easily do it from the comfort of your own home. Spontaneous conversations with a stranger now sit as a rarity as instead we choose to put our heads down and browse through our social media feeds.

 Through Tinder alone, every day around 2 billion swipes are made which leads to approximately 12 million matches. Around 68% of a group who I interviewed aged 18-25 admitted to using dating apps, although 64% agreed it had got them nowhere. 3 people even went as far as to say they believed it was more of a game - something to fill in their minutes of boredom or using it when they wanted a ‘self-esteem boost’. Scientists have shown that when a match is created with someone, it leads us to produce the feel-good hormone dopamine leading some individuals to even become addicted to it. What really remarked me though was when speaking to people, I found there was a recurrent belief that this increase in technology encourages us to look for the next best thing rather than comitting to someone we like. And I feel this is where the problem lies. Furthermore, many argued that in the day and age we live in - the mystery which lies behind getting to know someone has died due to the mighty information database - otherwise known as social media. Within seconds, you can find out a mass of information on someone without having even met them. Where they are from, who they are friends with, where they eat their lunch last Monday - you name it. Don’t get me wrong - I am not saying that people do not meet in the same way they did before and I am not saying that courtship has become entirely extinct - but I do believe the influence of these apps has made a big impression on the two.
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